Well, so many things have happened. Remember my niece Sabrina that I told about her wedding long time ago? She has two kids now (a girl, Asma and a boy, Amzar). I am their Ocik (Tok Cik).
I find it kind of hard to write in this post... It seems that I do not have any idea to share.... errmmm.... anyway, I guess I could begin by summarising the what and whatnot that have happened back from July 2011 until now
I had my viva in August 2011. It was one hellish moment. I learn a lot from it. Steve, my supervisor is really supportive when things are the hardest. I went to UK again last July (July 2012) and this time around, my viva was so smooth and enjoyable. I passed with no correction. Alhamdulillah.
What else happened in 2011? A month and a half after I have my viva, I went for hajj. I feel unprepared, scared and sad... it is a mixture of feelings yet Alhamdulillah, Allah Grants me lots of the things that were in my prayers during Arafah day. Alhamdulillah
Now, it is already 2013. Yup. How things fly!
Nothing much I guess, so before I start to ramble more nonsense, I guess, I better stop now. Until then.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Friday, June 24, 2011
It's June
Time flies very fast... indeed...
Just a quick summary... Alhamdulillah, TH has replied last Monday so kakak is performing hajj (second time) with me. Alhamdulillah...
Called my mom yesterday. She is counting the days ... really sad but have to be strong... this is just a phase
p.s: I know that this entry is kind of shorter... I have lots of things going on in my mind and it is not easy to express it through words...
Just a quick summary... Alhamdulillah, TH has replied last Monday so kakak is performing hajj (second time) with me. Alhamdulillah...
Called my mom yesterday. She is counting the days ... really sad but have to be strong... this is just a phase
p.s: I know that this entry is kind of shorter... I have lots of things going on in my mind and it is not easy to express it through words...
Saturday, January 15, 2011
It's January 2011
I know that my last entry seems like I am raging mad. Well, Alhamdulillah, I am physically ok now. Need to catch up lots of work and thus, I have been working very hard off lately. Luckily, I have Sean and Ryugo to accompany me in school. But both of them are going back to their respective country end of this month, so no more joke around or chat about research. I definitely will miss the times when Ryugo drops by just to say Hi. I guess Sean can sense there is something going on between us. The thing is, I notice that Ryugo drops by more often than before since my birthday last month. What's that supposed to mean? Had a talk with him about serious stuff and both of us realise that there are lots of things need to be sacrificed and negotiated for a serious kind of relationship. So for now, we are just good friend. Even though it is hard to find such a good guy who cares about me in his own way, never say No to what I request (this relates to his culture but I know to differentiate between a Yes which means Yes and a Yes but means No).
Alhamdulillah, K** is here from Sheffield so I am not alone for few more days. This is the hardest stage and editing/refining chapters is 'hellish'. I know it is just a phase so I have to face it and do the best I can to make sure I finish on time.
Alhamdulillah, K** is here from Sheffield so I am not alone for few more days. This is the hardest stage and editing/refining chapters is 'hellish'. I know it is just a phase so I have to face it and do the best I can to make sure I finish on time.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
December
I was stranded at town last Monday (29 Nov). Stayed overnight that L****'s place. Sent kak E*** off to airport. I was feeling feverish and here we go.... I have fever (on off) until Saturday (4 Dec).
Loss appetite. Normal condition for someone with fever. Alhamdulillah, I have enough pills so don't need to get outside to go to the clinic.
At first, I intend to go to the clinic, but I am afraid that I will faint on the way to the clinic. So, I just stay at home. FB with Zac. She sounds worried. Rest assured, I am ok. Alhamdulillah
Loss appetite. Normal condition for someone with fever. Alhamdulillah, I have enough pills so don't need to get outside to go to the clinic.
At first, I intend to go to the clinic, but I am afraid that I will faint on the way to the clinic. So, I just stay at home. FB with Zac. She sounds worried. Rest assured, I am ok. Alhamdulillah
Sunday, September 26, 2010
It is September
It have been more than 6 months since the last time I wrote something here. Errmm... lots of things happened actually. Well, here we go... a quick summary
March:
1) Zeah's lost her dad a shy two weeks before her big E day. It is hard for her. No doubt. Physically and emotionally, she is affected by it.
2) Got a news for the Paris conference. Paris!!!! Here I come!! Went to Paris and had a blast!
April:
1) S****n lost her dad. It is unexpected. She called me. When she told me that she is glad that we had the little chat when she came in early April, I am speechless!!
2) Something happen in late March and I was diagnosed as having a depression. Learning and teaching those theories about abnormality and whatnot really do not prepare me for the situation and somebody has to point that out straight to my face to make me realize that I am depressed. Called Kak N and told her about it. I started to have small routine before and after I school. I will keep on doing the routine even after I finish studying.
May:
1) Summer loving!!!! Kind of busy with my analysis chapters and Alhamdulillah for everything
June:
1) Conferences: London - Paris - Sheffield
July:
1) Writing up my quali chapters.... yup... I have done something....
August:
1) 3 chapters.... and more to go and edited
2) Ramadhan.... it is a year....
September:
1) Here I am ... it is already September...
2) K** grad last July. She is starting Masters in Sheffield.
3) Kak E*** is my new housemate.
4) Kak N is going to have her viva on 30 Sept and going back for good on 2 Oct. I will miss her terribly!!!! There is no more 'sudden call' every time or any time I feel blue... Ya Allah, I seek Your Guidance to ease our journey ... Aminnn....
That's all...
March:
1) Zeah's lost her dad a shy two weeks before her big E day. It is hard for her. No doubt. Physically and emotionally, she is affected by it.
2) Got a news for the Paris conference. Paris!!!! Here I come!! Went to Paris and had a blast!
April:
1) S****n lost her dad. It is unexpected. She called me. When she told me that she is glad that we had the little chat when she came in early April, I am speechless!!
2) Something happen in late March and I was diagnosed as having a depression. Learning and teaching those theories about abnormality and whatnot really do not prepare me for the situation and somebody has to point that out straight to my face to make me realize that I am depressed. Called Kak N and told her about it. I started to have small routine before and after I school. I will keep on doing the routine even after I finish studying.
May:
1) Summer loving!!!! Kind of busy with my analysis chapters and Alhamdulillah for everything
June:
1) Conferences: London - Paris - Sheffield
July:
1) Writing up my quali chapters.... yup... I have done something....
August:
1) 3 chapters.... and more to go and edited
2) Ramadhan.... it is a year....
September:
1) Here I am ... it is already September...
2) K** grad last July. She is starting Masters in Sheffield.
3) Kak E*** is my new housemate.
4) Kak N is going to have her viva on 30 Sept and going back for good on 2 Oct. I will miss her terribly!!!! There is no more 'sudden call' every time or any time I feel blue... Ya Allah, I seek Your Guidance to ease our journey ... Aminnn....
That's all...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
It's February
Alhamdulillah.... I was not feeling well since last November.... on off fever, coughing, sneezing.... Alhamdulillah.... I am still alive and with the fact that I don't know when I will die, I am grateful with every single breath I take...
Met Shaun after so many months (he went back to collect his data in Thailand). Did similar analysis so I have him to discuss things. Alhamdulillah.
I am still doing the qualitative analysis (I know that I should stop it right now). I am getting more clear (even though still have lots of uncertainty feeling) with the data and quite comfortable with it.
Lots of things have happened. Sab's wedding on Azim's side. Called mak almost every day when she was in KL. She is not feeling well. Selsema dan batuk but with her condition, a simple flu or cough might lead to major thing. There is pointless to worry too much about it. I pray to Allah that she will be ok.
When I called her, she did mention about me of not getting married yet. I know that she is worried about my marital status. After all seeing her three grandchildren got married must trigger something in her mind about me. The thing is, it is ketentuan Allah that I am not married at this time. It is not that I don't want to get married. It is just a matter of time before I get married. I believe in that.
Fiqah's aunt came from Hull. I feel guilty because I didn't entertain her that well since I am so busy doing my analysis (I am in the mood of doing it even though I pushed myself too much until I got sick again). Alhamdulillah.... I have the chance to chat with her and it seems that she is not feeling well too. Durham is too cold for her like Kak N*****, I guess.
A****** went back for a week to surprise her hubby. Such a sweet gesture!!! I think I will do the same if I were her. I** is visiting her bro in Dubai end of February. I am nobody and thus I know that I should not 'menyibuk' to go Dubai for that matter.
Received a great news from Z*** last Sunday (14 Feb). It has nothing to do with Valentine's day. Just a normal day and a holiday due to CNY. Hope to hear more great news from her again this coming March. The Big E day for her. Alhamdulillah...
S***** is coming on this Easter holiday (again has nothing to do with celebrating Easter day just since it is a hoilday, S***** is coming from London to take her stuff). Looking forward for that.
I am still working on the Paris conference kind of thingy... only even if it is just a poster presentation... I pray that I can get that chance...
Met Shaun after so many months (he went back to collect his data in Thailand). Did similar analysis so I have him to discuss things. Alhamdulillah.
I am still doing the qualitative analysis (I know that I should stop it right now). I am getting more clear (even though still have lots of uncertainty feeling) with the data and quite comfortable with it.
Lots of things have happened. Sab's wedding on Azim's side. Called mak almost every day when she was in KL. She is not feeling well. Selsema dan batuk but with her condition, a simple flu or cough might lead to major thing. There is pointless to worry too much about it. I pray to Allah that she will be ok.
When I called her, she did mention about me of not getting married yet. I know that she is worried about my marital status. After all seeing her three grandchildren got married must trigger something in her mind about me. The thing is, it is ketentuan Allah that I am not married at this time. It is not that I don't want to get married. It is just a matter of time before I get married. I believe in that.
Fiqah's aunt came from Hull. I feel guilty because I didn't entertain her that well since I am so busy doing my analysis (I am in the mood of doing it even though I pushed myself too much until I got sick again). Alhamdulillah.... I have the chance to chat with her and it seems that she is not feeling well too. Durham is too cold for her like Kak N*****, I guess.
A****** went back for a week to surprise her hubby. Such a sweet gesture!!! I think I will do the same if I were her. I** is visiting her bro in Dubai end of February. I am nobody and thus I know that I should not 'menyibuk' to go Dubai for that matter.
Received a great news from Z*** last Sunday (14 Feb). It has nothing to do with Valentine's day. Just a normal day and a holiday due to CNY. Hope to hear more great news from her again this coming March. The Big E day for her. Alhamdulillah...
S***** is coming on this Easter holiday (again has nothing to do with celebrating Easter day just since it is a hoilday, S***** is coming from London to take her stuff). Looking forward for that.
I am still working on the Paris conference kind of thingy... only even if it is just a poster presentation... I pray that I can get that chance...
Saturday, January 30, 2010
MGDC and Bonnypack
Went to Glasgow to present paper... 1st paper... went very well.... met people who provide valuable support and information... after all, even though PhD is a solitary journey, sharing and exchanging information with others in the same journey comforts me ... actually, we find comfort in each other company.... Alhamdulillah
It is one of my wishes to meet Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail..... then who ever thought that Allah Grants my wish!!!! When I asked Bonda about the person who is going to give the first talk... she just passed me a piece of paper, contained lists of presenters...... when I saw his name..... I guess my heart stop to beat for a second!!! Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail? Ya Allah.... I am one of his blog silent readers..... Meeting him, his wife and two kids.... was priceless...
He talked about things that I take for granted.... Life is full with ketentuan and aturan (pre-destined) Allah..... how ever thought that I will have the courage to send the abstract to MGDC... at that time, I was "clueless"... and emotionally unstable due to the grief and bereavement phase that was still prevalent ... at that time...
As I am writing this, I am feeling mush better,...... reciting surah Yassin everyday comforts me... I am looking forward to read it after Maghrib prayer because it is like having a special date ..... can't wait to "re-connect" with my dad through reciting surah Yassin... mentioning his name and my grandparents..... really gives me sense of belonging.... I am after all his daughter.... their granddaughter.... even though, I never met Nyayi Saemah (she passed away when my dad was 8).... yet, I feel the feeling of connectedness when I recite surah Yassin for them....
I don't know if I inherit any of their physical features.... I was told that Nyayi Saemah is a real beauty and same with Nyayi ... both of them were a beauty.... to marry a guy who has nothing (materially) except he was known for his charity and knowledge, it must takes her a real courage to trust her dad's judgment (for Nyayi Saemah).... and for Nyayi, to marry a guy who was older than her by nearly 20 years.... must freak her out... yet due to his good characters that melt her heart, I guess.... every time Mak re-told the story of her dad.... I can sense that she's really adore him... I don't know if I can re-tell similar story about my dad to my kids in the future... bapa was kind in his own way.... just it is kind of hard for him to accept the fact that his children really thrive in their studies and to be educated really freaked him out... even though, none of us are arrogant with what we know due to the education that we have... yet, I can sense that he was not comfortable with us... thus, the clash of understanding... but being him, he would show that he'd really proud of us behind our back....
Who ever thought that I will be born has his daughter? All of these are ketentuan and aturan Allah...
Had a chat with my friend, Wiwi.... she said that she feels inferior when people start to compare their academic achievement with her.... gosh!!! I told her that we cannot feel inferior and at the same time feel superior... rather.... we should feel grateful.... Alhamdulillah.. Allah Blesses us with this kind of life.... to be a Muslim is a blessing in itself... and it is our responsibility to maintain our life as Muslim and be grateful with His Blessing.... it is an amanah to be a Muslim.... Alhamdulillah.... Allah Grants us the bestest for us... even though, we might not know why Allah Grants us... it is pointless to ask why... rather be grateful... Alhamdulillah....
Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail did mentioned about his own experience.... kind of humbling that he came to UK.... to share with us .... it gives me a motivation... PhD is just a phase..... A humbling experience to endure all the challenges while doing this so called PhD... not all are given the chance to be tested this way.... Alhamdulillah
*************************************************************************************
While I am in Glasgow, people suggested that I should go to Bonnypack.... what is that?.... so kind of asking around the Glasgow people about it... F**** went with me ... oh my.... I ended up buying few more stuff... the usual stuff.... I would rather say... no details needed if you know me.... my fetish.... *sigh*.....
Alhamdulillah.... I got the chance... not only to present, meet Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail... but also to shop at Bonnypack...
As a result, Alhamdulillah... got severe cough when I am back to Durham.... sleepless night?... u bet!
It is one of my wishes to meet Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail..... then who ever thought that Allah Grants my wish!!!! When I asked Bonda about the person who is going to give the first talk... she just passed me a piece of paper, contained lists of presenters...... when I saw his name..... I guess my heart stop to beat for a second!!! Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail? Ya Allah.... I am one of his blog silent readers..... Meeting him, his wife and two kids.... was priceless...
He talked about things that I take for granted.... Life is full with ketentuan and aturan (pre-destined) Allah..... how ever thought that I will have the courage to send the abstract to MGDC... at that time, I was "clueless"... and emotionally unstable due to the grief and bereavement phase that was still prevalent ... at that time...
As I am writing this, I am feeling mush better,...... reciting surah Yassin everyday comforts me... I am looking forward to read it after Maghrib prayer because it is like having a special date ..... can't wait to "re-connect" with my dad through reciting surah Yassin... mentioning his name and my grandparents..... really gives me sense of belonging.... I am after all his daughter.... their granddaughter.... even though, I never met Nyayi Saemah (she passed away when my dad was 8).... yet, I feel the feeling of connectedness when I recite surah Yassin for them....
I don't know if I inherit any of their physical features.... I was told that Nyayi Saemah is a real beauty and same with Nyayi ... both of them were a beauty.... to marry a guy who has nothing (materially) except he was known for his charity and knowledge, it must takes her a real courage to trust her dad's judgment (for Nyayi Saemah).... and for Nyayi, to marry a guy who was older than her by nearly 20 years.... must freak her out... yet due to his good characters that melt her heart, I guess.... every time Mak re-told the story of her dad.... I can sense that she's really adore him... I don't know if I can re-tell similar story about my dad to my kids in the future... bapa was kind in his own way.... just it is kind of hard for him to accept the fact that his children really thrive in their studies and to be educated really freaked him out... even though, none of us are arrogant with what we know due to the education that we have... yet, I can sense that he was not comfortable with us... thus, the clash of understanding... but being him, he would show that he'd really proud of us behind our back....
Who ever thought that I will be born has his daughter? All of these are ketentuan and aturan Allah...
Had a chat with my friend, Wiwi.... she said that she feels inferior when people start to compare their academic achievement with her.... gosh!!! I told her that we cannot feel inferior and at the same time feel superior... rather.... we should feel grateful.... Alhamdulillah.. Allah Blesses us with this kind of life.... to be a Muslim is a blessing in itself... and it is our responsibility to maintain our life as Muslim and be grateful with His Blessing.... it is an amanah to be a Muslim.... Alhamdulillah.... Allah Grants us the bestest for us... even though, we might not know why Allah Grants us... it is pointless to ask why... rather be grateful... Alhamdulillah....
Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail did mentioned about his own experience.... kind of humbling that he came to UK.... to share with us .... it gives me a motivation... PhD is just a phase..... A humbling experience to endure all the challenges while doing this so called PhD... not all are given the chance to be tested this way.... Alhamdulillah
*************************************************************************************
While I am in Glasgow, people suggested that I should go to Bonnypack.... what is that?.... so kind of asking around the Glasgow people about it... F**** went with me ... oh my.... I ended up buying few more stuff... the usual stuff.... I would rather say... no details needed if you know me.... my fetish.... *sigh*.....
Alhamdulillah.... I got the chance... not only to present, meet Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail... but also to shop at Bonnypack...
As a result, Alhamdulillah... got severe cough when I am back to Durham.... sleepless night?... u bet!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
