Went to Glasgow to present paper... 1st paper... went very well.... met people who provide valuable support and information... after all, even though PhD is a solitary journey, sharing and exchanging information with others in the same journey comforts me ... actually, we find comfort in each other company.... Alhamdulillah
It is one of my wishes to meet Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail..... then who ever thought that Allah Grants my wish!!!! When I asked Bonda about the person who is going to give the first talk... she just passed me a piece of paper, contained lists of presenters...... when I saw his name..... I guess my heart stop to beat for a second!!! Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail? Ya Allah.... I am one of his blog silent readers..... Meeting him, his wife and two kids.... was priceless...
He talked about things that I take for granted.... Life is full with ketentuan and aturan (pre-destined) Allah..... how ever thought that I will have the courage to send the abstract to MGDC... at that time, I was "clueless"... and emotionally unstable due to the grief and bereavement phase that was still prevalent ... at that time...
As I am writing this, I am feeling mush better,...... reciting surah Yassin everyday comforts me... I am looking forward to read it after Maghrib prayer because it is like having a special date ..... can't wait to "re-connect" with my dad through reciting surah Yassin... mentioning his name and my grandparents..... really gives me sense of belonging.... I am after all his daughter.... their granddaughter.... even though, I never met Nyayi Saemah (she passed away when my dad was 8).... yet, I feel the feeling of connectedness when I recite surah Yassin for them....
I don't know if I inherit any of their physical features.... I was told that Nyayi Saemah is a real beauty and same with Nyayi ... both of them were a beauty.... to marry a guy who has nothing (materially) except he was known for his charity and knowledge, it must takes her a real courage to trust her dad's judgment (for Nyayi Saemah).... and for Nyayi, to marry a guy who was older than her by nearly 20 years.... must freak her out... yet due to his good characters that melt her heart, I guess.... every time Mak re-told the story of her dad.... I can sense that she's really adore him... I don't know if I can re-tell similar story about my dad to my kids in the future... bapa was kind in his own way.... just it is kind of hard for him to accept the fact that his children really thrive in their studies and to be educated really freaked him out... even though, none of us are arrogant with what we know due to the education that we have... yet, I can sense that he was not comfortable with us... thus, the clash of understanding... but being him, he would show that he'd really proud of us behind our back....
Who ever thought that I will be born has his daughter? All of these are ketentuan and aturan Allah...
Had a chat with my friend, Wiwi.... she said that she feels inferior when people start to compare their academic achievement with her.... gosh!!! I told her that we cannot feel inferior and at the same time feel superior... rather.... we should feel grateful.... Alhamdulillah.. Allah Blesses us with this kind of life.... to be a Muslim is a blessing in itself... and it is our responsibility to maintain our life as Muslim and be grateful with His Blessing.... it is an amanah to be a Muslim.... Alhamdulillah.... Allah Grants us the bestest for us... even though, we might not know why Allah Grants us... it is pointless to ask why... rather be grateful... Alhamdulillah....
Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail did mentioned about his own experience.... kind of humbling that he came to UK.... to share with us .... it gives me a motivation... PhD is just a phase..... A humbling experience to endure all the challenges while doing this so called PhD... not all are given the chance to be tested this way.... Alhamdulillah
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While I am in Glasgow, people suggested that I should go to Bonnypack.... what is that?.... so kind of asking around the Glasgow people about it... F**** went with me ... oh my.... I ended up buying few more stuff... the usual stuff.... I would rather say... no details needed if you know me.... my fetish.... *sigh*.....
Alhamdulillah.... I got the chance... not only to present, meet Prof Muhd Kamil Ismail... but also to shop at Bonnypack...
As a result, Alhamdulillah... got severe cough when I am back to Durham.... sleepless night?... u bet!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
It has been a while
What have I done? It was snowing heavily for few days which turned into weeks. Kind of morose (did I?). Well, started go to school back even though it is slippery and wet.
Going to Glasgow on 18 Jan. Just want to have a break and present something. Talking about presentation, it has been a while since the last time I present something. Yup. Kind of nervous, anxious.... I will do fine and will enjoy the moment while I can.
Been thinking a lot what will happen in few months. Will I be able to achieve my target? I know that it is still uncertain. I will do the best. The very best. The bestest.
I want to finish thing ASAP. Seems that it's been too long.
Called Mak yesterday. She sounds better. They changed her medication. She is really looking forward to go to KL via Air Asia with kakak for Sabrina's wedding reception (Azim's side). When she told me that my call can make her day, I promise to myself that I will call her as often as I could. In fact, I will call her every week. Or twice a month if I am super duper busy.
Alhamdulillah, it seems that she is getting better when it comes to dealing the loss. I know it is hard for her when it happened. I was affected by it too. It is something that I have to learn.
Life is a process. Yes, indeed.
We decide. We reflect. We choose.
Sometimes, things just happen. Whatever it it, we have to face it and be responsible toward every single action that we do. Kind of simple to say it. To do it, always another different story.
Alhamdulillah. Allah Gives me opportunity to do many things that I could never even imagine 5 years ago. Even though it is hard, I pray that I will pass this phase successfully. I pray hard that I will.
Going to Glasgow on 18 Jan. Just want to have a break and present something. Talking about presentation, it has been a while since the last time I present something. Yup. Kind of nervous, anxious.... I will do fine and will enjoy the moment while I can.
Been thinking a lot what will happen in few months. Will I be able to achieve my target? I know that it is still uncertain. I will do the best. The very best. The bestest.
I want to finish thing ASAP. Seems that it's been too long.
Called Mak yesterday. She sounds better. They changed her medication. She is really looking forward to go to KL via Air Asia with kakak for Sabrina's wedding reception (Azim's side). When she told me that my call can make her day, I promise to myself that I will call her as often as I could. In fact, I will call her every week. Or twice a month if I am super duper busy.
Alhamdulillah, it seems that she is getting better when it comes to dealing the loss. I know it is hard for her when it happened. I was affected by it too. It is something that I have to learn.
Life is a process. Yes, indeed.
We decide. We reflect. We choose.
Sometimes, things just happen. Whatever it it, we have to face it and be responsible toward every single action that we do. Kind of simple to say it. To do it, always another different story.
Alhamdulillah. Allah Gives me opportunity to do many things that I could never even imagine 5 years ago. Even though it is hard, I pray that I will pass this phase successfully. I pray hard that I will.
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