Something happened

It's term break. I haven't finished with the recoding. Went to NVIVO training on 16 and 17 Dec and I become more confused than ever! It is just matter of time before I get used to the software and I will be fine sooner than I ever imagine.

Then, something happened on 20 Dec and it is not my fault. Yet, people partially blame me because I am doing nothing (I don't know on a first place) and it seems that people (the jiran tetangga) see me as the ketua in this house. I am the oldest and doing a PhD (what's that supposed to mean?!!!)

To make thing short, I was slandered and things got worsen. What I can do is pray to Allah that He will show me whatever evil intentions that person has towards me. Alhamdulillah, even though she's slandering me behind my back, somehow I know about it.

I couldn't sleep for nearly 2 days and I had a headache and feeling light weight (this is not because I lose weight, just it is a feeling due to lack of sleep).

I made a decision, that she has to go. Move out from this house. This house is my sanctuary. I don't need a tensed atmosphere where I can't relax and always on my guard because I don't know what will she do next.

No discussion and negotiation is needed. That's final.

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26 Dec. My niece, Sab got married. Called my mom and kakak a day before the wedding. My mom sounds happy. She has stopped taking the TB medication and she got her appetite back.

Kakak cried when she heard my voice. This is not the kakak I know all my life. She misses me. How she wish that I was there to help around.

I tried to do my work as fast I could. I will finish on time. I pray hard that I will finish on time.

When things happened like this, being slandered and all, I know that I have to be stronger no matter what. I have to be decisive. Even though, it is hard, I need to do this.

If not, I have to bear with Allah's wrath that I don't want to face on a first place.

To face with Allah's wrath or her wrath?

I am more fear of the former than the latter.

That's final. I pray that this is the best decision I make for this problem.