Events....

First event: I was typing when I heard my hp was buzzing, indicating a message coming in. Pause a moment to check the message. Oh, it is from Kak N*****. She told me that Abg T***** does not say hi or whatnot when she's online - YM. I asked her, did she make the first move say hi to him. She said no. Aiyoo... why la like that? Well, apparently it seems that to fall in love at this age ops... stage, not as easy as it may seem. Given a chance that each party has nothing to lose makes thing harder. Yeah, on one hand, he got everything under the sun except a life companion. On the other hand, she also has almost everything under the sun except a life companion and a PhD. What do they expect in this relationship? Seem platonic but again perhaps it's the platonic element that draw them together. Asking about love department from me - aka someone who only teaches subject about human relationship in theory but in real life, a complete different story herself - perhaps not a good idea. Yeah. She said that I am the one who really encourage and support her to have it a try with Abg T*****. Well, I just like to tease her for a start and I never thought that she will buy it. Aiyoo... serve me right to make someone as naive as she to believe in what I say. Aiyoo... I am such a bad apple, don't I?

Second event: As I typed on my laptop the proposal to be submitted to the EPU and EPRD, I listened to this song. It reminds me of B*****. Why on earth that I still think about him? First of all, I am associating him with EPRD as he also works with the Ministry of Education. I was thinking that if only I am in a good term with him, perhaps I could ask him to help me with the application and whatnot. Now, there is no way that I will ask any favor from him. Took a break and checked my emails and facebook. Suddenly, I saw Abg N**** pictures. He looks happy and contented in Dubai. I am happy for him. After all that he has been through, he deserves to be happy. Looking at him enjoying himself makes me think that he is better off without me. Yup. I know that with his mother and siblings stayed at my place for a week, it really makes him uncomfortable. Feel as if he is indebted or something. Duh!!!! I was feeling nervous and uncomfortable too. Especially when his mom promotes him. Yeah. At that time, I was thinking to say this to her " Mak cik, anak mak cik dah tak nak saya, saya nak buat macam mana lagi?" But I just don't have the heart to say it out loud. I know that my best friend is disappointed that I didn't want to take pictures with her. I don't want my pictures to be spread all over her album. Definitely a no no. The thought of her brother seeing my pictures make me sad. I don't want myself to be close with her family. Well, in fact, I think I will start to keep my distance from her. I have to do this. I will not email her like I used to do. Nor will I sms her all the way from UK or even when I am in Malaysia for my data collection. I have put herself in an awkward position. I know that's why she is always on her guard when I saw her last time when she came over to my place. I am making assumption but knowing her too well, I can guess that things are more complicated than it is.

Third event: A*** told me that S***** cried yesterday when she came over. Apparently, she is very stressed with her current situation. Well, I have told S***** that she is most welcome to come anytime and she does not have to worry about buying food etc. I know she is being gracious and grateful. I just feel that she should not be that way. After all, she is a nice person and we will help her in any way that we could. She does not have to worry about that. She can always count on us.

Forth event: I am sad. This is not hormonal. I am sad thinking about my dad. I don't know how long do I have to be near him, to serve him while he is still alive. Same with my mom. It has been two months since I came back to UK. I know Kakak tried her very best to take care of them yet I have this unsettling feeling. I want to be there for them as I have always be. Kak A*** , well, she is what she is. Being the pampered one by my father, she tends to take things for granted. I wish that she could help around more. Again, she also has her own problems to settle.

Fifth event: Finally I finished my proposal. I will edit and check any typing error tomorrow. I promise Kak I** to meet her at her place. To help her packing or cooking. I don't know. I just feel to be near to someone who is like my big sister. She reminds of me a bit of Kak Z** and Kakak. I miss my family!!!! I will make sure that I can go back as I plan end of February. Ayy...

Series of events.... after all, it is what life is.... Ayyyyy