Not being productive.... at all

When I was young, I always have this vision and imagination of me staying in overseas for whatever reasons (at one point, one of the reasons is because I imagine myself being married to a Mat Salleh - which I doubt will come true now). Well, I do agree that "hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri negeri sendiri" yet hujan batu pun, I love my country no matter what. There are always pros and cons. Beautiful and ugly. The combinations of both elements make our life perfect.

I was reading this book entitled The Einstein Syndrome by Thomas Sewell. It is about the issue of late talking. I am not a parent myself so I don't know how it feels to have a child who is late in speech - a type of development. Again what is normal, and abnormal is just depended on social values. Most of the time. If not in all cases.

Again, the extreme of the Einstein Syndrome is The Williams Syndrome. If Einstein syndrome relates to late talking, Williams syndrome relates to the advanced development in speech and social skills yet, having low level of IQ. The former syndrome can outgrow - meaning, it can disappear when one reaches adulthood but not the former.

Kak I** is worried about her son and her youngest daughter. Both of them seem to be late talkers. What I find as interesting is, both of her children can understand you well. When I went to their place to lepak-lepak, I used to strike a conversation with her son in English and he can answer me well with a Jordy accent on top of that. I told Kak I** not to worry too much about her children. After all, it is a part of development processes and not all people are the same. Being someone who is educated and intelligent as she is, I believe that her children would have similar level of intelligent as she is plus with Abg Z** who is an engineer.

I know that when it comes to certain things like intelligent there are no absolute explanation on how some people are different from others. When some have no problem to memorize things, others seem to struggle to remember simple things even.

When it comes to education setting, teachers play important roles in molding students' perception about themselves - that will affect their self-esteem, motivation etc. It is a tricky business here. I know how difficult it is when someone label you as stupid or lembam. Lembam is a Malay word to describe a person as slow (just to put it in a nicest way).

I used to be called as stupid by my ex-supervisor, Yed while doing my masters. In this case, I feel honored to be called as stupid. Stupid in this case is not directed on me as an individual, rather on my shallow way of thinking. I am proud to be known as his stupid student and most people envy the way I have this special bond with him. Some even speculate that I have an affair with him. I regard him as my intellectual father. I can't argue the way I argue with him about academic things with my father. Well, for one thing, my father did not have the kind of exposure and education the way Yed has. He gave me this intellectual stimulation that always able to arouse my thirst about many things. He is the one who introduced me to Queen - the group with Freddie Mercury as the singer. Yeah, that one. Not any Queen.

For that matter, I always can easily get attracted to men who can argue with me without downgrading me. It is hard to find a guy like that. One of the guys that I nearly fall in love with is such a guy. Too bad that he is what he is. I wonder what happen to him now. Some said that he's waiting for me until now. He can't find someone like me. That's perhaps explain why he broke off with the PTD girl.

I know it is hard for him to forget me. After all, I am the first one who composed a love poem for him. I never thought that I am so creative with words. How time flies. If he agreed to marry me before I went to further my study, perhaps he and I are endowed with a kid now. Again, if he did marry me on a first place, things could be different now. No regrets though.

I wonder how does he looks like now. Some said after I left, he looks like someone with the Taliban. Ouch... what's happened to his boyish look? I think I will pay him and Rizal a visit when I go to Putrajaya. I am not trying to rekindle anything here. I am a stubborn woman. There is no way that I will accept him after what he has done.

I feel much contented now than ever. Being a single is not a problem for me. I don't find myself thinking about it too much lately. Why? I don't know. Perhaps it is true that I have moved on with my life. Indeed.